So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
