I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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