Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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