she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
