I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
