end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
