Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
