Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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