You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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