so explain again why im purple
no
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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