Dual....:-)
I'm so fucking centered right now
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
