Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
