I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
