How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
