What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Come see our sink grown plant.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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