your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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