guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
