Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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