I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
