some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I am available for nakedness
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