He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
