Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
