Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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