she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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