I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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