I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I want her autograph on my taint
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
