I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
