Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
