In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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