if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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