We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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