Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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