That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
