I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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