i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
