her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
