I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
