Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
