Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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