I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
