Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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