allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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