is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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