the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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