Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
