I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
