I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
