omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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