I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
