u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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