whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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