Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
